I'm starting a new series on www.judyhillonline.com, based on the comforting realization that old dogs aren't dumb at all.

So, here is the first installment of: What I Learned Today.

If you give a smart 2-year-old a cell phone to play with and you've programmed some telephone numbers in it, she will eventually call someone you know who actually answers the phone and is surprised to be talking to a 2-year-old. This is not quite as astonishing as the "give a monkey a typewriter and he/she will eventually write a novel" revelation, but it's close.

It is true that your prescription drug coverage will get screwed up when you change health care plans.

Even if all your pants have at least some elastic in the waist, they will be hard to button if you gain five pounds.

You will gain five pounds even if the only snaks you eat come in a 100-calorie bag.

It is impossible to stop with one 100-calorie bag of Lorna Doones.

Tune in tomorrow for the second episode of What I Learned Today.

There's bound to be something.